Alex's Sexual Orientation Theories

• WPSIATWIN: Alex was just a teenage boy following the pack, wanting to party, make music, do drugs, drink, and have fun, meaningless sex with as many women as possible in as many places as possible.
• FWN: Alex starts to discover the power that he aquires by being the adorable frontman in a successful, young rock band and decides to use it to his advantage and write mind-twisting eerie songs in which the message doesn't fully show through, but you know sex has something to do with it. And he meets Miles Kane.
• TLSP: Milex is born. The sex-ridden british duo compose deep, cinematic works of art about true love and heartbreak alike, the voices mesh like matches made in heaven and little looks and gestures live and in interveiws reveal that TLSP is more than just Alex's side project. He has found his lovely, but forbidden true love.
• Humbug: Alex becomes furious with the idea that him and Miles' love cannot continue to flourish, for his band needs him back and the world misses the beloved Arctic Monkeys so Al' proceeds to grow out his locks, and sport a more feminine fashion, try to hold together a rocky relationship with fashionista Alexa Chung, and create a passionate, yet angry album known as Humbug caused by his sexual frustration and confusion for his best mate Miles.
• SIAS: Alex begins to realise that his fans are on to him and he must make a change to protect not only himself, but Miles as well. So the man chops of his hair and styles it into a manly quiff chok full of gel and testosterone. He starts to don leather and tight jeans, with the shape of cigarette packs worn into the butt pockets. Drops his voice a few octaves, and writes Suck it and See. An album dedicated to sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Miles slowly fades out of the picture as Alex begins a new fling with stereotypical rock n' roll girlfriend, American I might add, Arielle Vandenberg. He sings her name in the albums hit as Miles begins to dissapear from shows and get a girlfriend of his own. And to this day the both of them are more heterosexual than ever...for now.